Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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