I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize