I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize