just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
