I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
we should paint friendship bongs
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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