My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
