I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
