Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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