Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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