she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
