Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
