we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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