Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
