This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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