Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i believe in u and ur pee
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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