Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Did I show you my penis last night?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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