He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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