But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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