super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
COCAINE IS GR8
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
