So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
