He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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