so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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