Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
