Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
