after a month anything with tits is on the radar
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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