no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
