I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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