talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
