is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
