Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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