so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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