I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
do herpes really smell.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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