I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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