the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
