so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
