Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
