he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
