i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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