So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
