I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
