whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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