I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize