he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
