we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
