So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Slut skills are useful in every country.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
