we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
