Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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