Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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