Are we in a gay sports bar?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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