just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
