Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize