no. you can't hotbox the world.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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