We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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