She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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