Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
