i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize