I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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