I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
