Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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