thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
